Private

The other day I set my blog as private. I was thinking about discontinuing it, but did not want to do anything hasty like deleting it.

I was surprised that some of you noticed, as I have been a bad blogger lately and have not written anything in ages, so I suspected that I had lost most readers.

I realize that doing that without saying anything was in bad form and I apologize.

I promise you there is no drama involved. I simply don't feel that I have anything to write here anymore and began to wonder why I should maintain the blog.

I still frequent all of your blogs, and enjoy keeping up on the current "happenings", but lately do not feel I have anything to add. I have also been pretty preoccupied with my personal life and obsessed with the U.S. elections, and I realize that the things I want to say about that have already been beaten to death.

So I will keep this blog open until further notice, and perhaps the mood will strike again someday and I will write something.

To those who contacted me, thank you for caring and I'm sorry for causing concern.

Amiable

Vote!

Hey everyone,

I'm back from my honeymoon. Thank you for all of the kind wishes. We didn't really have a ceremony, we did it city hall style and then went backpacking around Croatia for a little over a week.

I just got my absentee ballot in the mail today and voted for Obama!

Hope everyone else votes as well.

Cheers

Absent

Please excuse my absence, I'm on my honeymoon for the next week or so.

Cheers!

Love Letter

It was pretty lame being the youngest kid in youth group.

I had just turned 13, so they forcibly removed me from the safety of Sunday school class with my younger brother and made me go alone to the class with all of the scary high schoolers who were all at least 16 years old.

I felt like such a dork. Junior high was bad enough without having to hang out with these older kids who clearly thought I was a weirdo every Sunday.

During one of our youth groups we all sat in a circle and I was sure we were going to start talking about things that would make me blush.

Sure enough, our youth leader asked, "Have you ever received a love letter?"

Of course everyone in the youth group had received a love letter. They talked about who they were from and what it had felt like.

When it was my turn to talk, of course, I was the only one who had not received one. It never occured to me to consider that one that was scribbled on note paper with too many exclamation points and bad handwriting in the sixth grade from that boy who told me he really, really, really liked me. Yuck! So I said I hadn't.

This was horribly embarassing. I felt like such a moron because everyone in the youth group was so much cooler than me and they obviously already had more exciting love lives than I did.

Fortunately I recovered from my shame quickly as our youth leader informed us that we had all been given a love letter!

This love letter was, of course, from God and it was the Bible! Duh, silly!

So that got me wondering, how would I feel about getting this love letter today?

A letter that is genocidal,sexist, incestual, violent, and just plain absurd?

A letter that threatened me with eternal pain and suffering if I do not love and obey the author?


I think I would need a restraining order!

It's in the Water!

Here's a book review I stumbled upon. The book is Heaven Without Her by Kitty Foth-Regner, the story of an atheist turned believer after her mother's death. This is a clear illustration of the fact that people do not turn to religion out of rational thought, but out of pure emotion. Because there is nothing rational about it.

But what particularly struck me is the opening line of the review:

We've all heard the charges: Secular colleges and universities negate the need for a Creator by teaching that evolution accounts for the universe, expose students to anti-Christian worldviews, and then teach tolerance as the highest virtue.

Could these charges possibly be true?

Say it isn't so! Our children are learning science, differing viewpoints, and tolerance in school? The horror!

It really is a shame that a lot of Christian families fear even the prospect of their children being exposed to other ideas. Simply the closed-mindedness and ignorance of that is enough for me to have a basic disgust for their type of belief.

Are they that insecure in their faith? Deep down do they realize that their beliefs can't hold a candle to science and rational thought?

My family also has this fear of education. It reminds me of the tree of knowledge in the Bible. I always wondered, why on Earth is it such a bad thing to have knowledge?

Because knowledge is power and religion thrives on the powerless.

I remember times when I would learn something new in school. Excited, I would share it with my parents when I got home, only to be disappointed by their response.

"That's ridiculous. Your teacher doesn't know anything."

At first I was a little hurt and confused by their response. Why didn't my parents appreciate the new information I had to tell them? I began to realize that my parents did not value science or rational thought. They did not value new ideas or anything that opposed their way of thinking. They were more content to keep believing whatever it was their parents had tought them, regardless of the evidence.

As an adult I am still shocked and dismayed by their reactions.

When I discussed with my brother a little while before I became an atheist how amazing it was to watch orangutans and to see the similarities we have with these relatives, my mother overheard and said, "But what about what the Bible says? That can't be true."

I replied, "But you can't take the Bible literally, Mom."

"Of course you can."

This was the first time I realized to what extent she was willing to ignore reality.

I was upset that so many people that I trusted as a child actually taught me ridiculous stories out of the Bible as literal truth. Did they really believe it themselves? How could these seemingly intelligent adults that I trusted actually believe such nonsense?

Even more recently I informed my grandparents that I had been in Berlin and had heard Obama's speech. They were disappointed when they realized I had made a trip there especially to hear Obama, and wasn't just in Berlin "by coincidence".

My grandfather warned me not to believe everything I had heard to which I replied,

"Don't worry, I don't believe everything I'm told."

But they only want me to believe certain things I'm told, they just wish they could censor the rest. Just as amusing (and/or depressing) was when they were saddened to discover that no, I unfortunately do not get the Fox News Channel in Germany. Apparently it's too risky watching other news channels because I might be brainwashed by the liberals that "run the media"! Terrifying thought, I know.

This is a fundamental problem I see with religion. It is so closed-minded that the potential of differing viewpoints even being overheard causes them genuine distress.

Of course there are people on every side of every issue who want to censor opposing viewpoints. I am in opposition to this idea no matter what viewpoint they support. But I feel that religion is especially eager for this type of censorship.

I do not oppose intelligent design in school because I fear my children will be converted to creationists. I oppose it in science class because it does not meet the requirements of a science. I oppose it because I am afraid it will lead to the total removal of critical thought and real science from the classroom and that my children will never hear about evolution. I have absolutely no problem with my children hearing about intelligent design and about religion in the appropriate venue. But that appropriate venue is not science class.

There is no fear of their children not hearing about their god and their creation story. They hear it at church. I wish they would be content to leave it at that. But the fear that their children might actually hear another side to the story is what leads them to try to censor and condemn differing viewpoints.

Coming Out Godless

Coming Out Godless is a site that allows people to sumbit their personal stories and read other stories about nonbelief.

Perhaps one of the most moving types of stories are ones of personal experience. The idea here is to encourage atheists and other nonbelievers to come out in hopes of normalizing the idea.

They were kind enough to post my story. It is the same one you can find in my first post which talks about how I realized I no longer believed in God. If you are interested, do check it out, and I encourage you to submit your own stories!

Catching Flies

Have you ever heard the saying that goes something like, "You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar"?

I do not wish to compare my readers to flies, but I think there is a lot of truth in this, and wanting to "catch flies with honey" is one of the motivations behind this blog and its title.

I recently engaged in a discussion with other atheists about the tone of our message.

I read some words written by an atheist that rubbed me the wrong way. This is not a smear campaign and I am not even going to say who, I only want to discuss what I think are ineffective ways of communicating.

The first problem I had, which was definitely not the biggest, was with the profanity.

This may be partially due to the remnants of my religious upbringing, but I really dislike profanity.

Of course I use it sometimes. But I think the setting is entirely important. It is one thing to use it with my friends or in private, but to use profanity in a loud and public way, I find, is very juvenile.

When I meet people who overuse profanity or who use it inappropriately, I usually interpret that as a lack of consideration or politeness.

Just because we have the freedom of speech, that does not justify our saying anything that comes to mind!

When one is attempting to make a point, or to spread their ideas, I find the use of profanity to be highly ineffective and think it is really a turn-off.

The thing that most bothered me was that this person was obviously representing an atheist view-point with his/her writing. It bothered me that a believer or someone looking for answers or who is just curious might stumble upon these words and be turned off by them.

If I were to walk into the public library looking for information or help, I would definitely be put off by the librarian yelling at me, and using personal attacks and profanity. I would probably stop my search for the information or atleast never patronize that library again.

I found the tone and language to be very ineffective at conveying any kind of message, and it bothered me that this kind of attitude or message is only perpetuating negative stereotypes of atheism.

I was then told that it is the reader's own fault if they choose to associate these words with a group, not the writer's. But don't we do the same thing every day when we read Ray Comfort's blog or hear about some denomination or church doing something ridiculous in the news?

I was also told that I was basically labelling atheism as a religion just like "fundies" do, which I find to be completely ridiculous because of course when you are writing a public blog that attacks religious beliefs from an atheist view-point, you are representing atheism. I'm not saying it is right or that people should see you as a representative, but they do and they will.

I am a representative for atheism on this blog, and I know that. As such, I do my best to be polite and to give thoughtful responses, not just rants, hatred, and profanity.

It is a fact of life that we are constantly representing a group by our actions and words. As a person living in a foreign land, I am constantly seen as a representative of my country. As a young person, I am often seen as a representative of my age group. I could go on to include hair color and many other factors, but I think I've made my point.

The issue is not whether or not it is right that your words represent the group as a whole. The fact is, that they do. Whether you like it or not, your words are posted on the internet for the world to see. Why would you use language that alienates instead of using "honey" to communicate your message?

Obviously the point of having a blog is to communicate a message, to share your views, and hopefully, to atleast make them think about it. If this is not your goal, then perhaps your blog would better be labelled as a private diary if it is only a place to vent your anger at the world.

And if you wish to continue using vinegar in your methods, understand that you will probably not have much success catching any flies. This fly was definitely not impressed.

Orangutan Love

I love orangutans. They are so amazing! Check out this video:



Thanks to Atheist Media for the video.

People of the World, This is Our Time

Some highlights from his speech.

In this new world, such dangerous currents have swept along faster than our efforts to contain them. That is why we cannot afford to be divided. No one nation, no matter how large or powerful, can defeat such challenges alone. None of us can deny these threats, or escape responsibility in meeting them. Yet, in the absence of Soviet tanks and a terrible wall, it has become easy to forget this truth. And if we’re honest with each other, we know that sometimes, on both sides of the Atlantic, we have drifted apart, and forgotten our shared destiny.

In Europe, the view that America is part of what has gone wrong in our world, rather than a force to help make it right, has become all too common. In America, there are voices that deride and deny the importance of Europe’s role in our security and our future. Both views miss the truth – that Europeans today are bearing new burdens and taking more responsibility in critical parts of the world; and that just as American bases built in the last century still help to defend the security of this continent, so does our country still sacrifice greatly for freedom around the globe.

Yes, there have been differences between America and Europe. No doubt, there will be differences in the future. But the burdens of global citizenship continue to bind us together. A change of leadership in Washington will not lift this burden. In this new century, Americans and Europeans alike will be required to do more – not less. Partnership and cooperation among nations is not a choice; it is the one way, the only way, to protect our common security and advance our common humanity.

That is why the greatest danger of all is to allow new walls to divide us from one another.

The walls between old allies on either side of the Atlantic cannot stand. The walls between the countries with the most and those with the least cannot stand. The walls between races and tribes; natives and immigrants; Christian and Muslim and Jew cannot stand. These now are the walls we must tear down.

This is the moment when we must come together to save this planet. Let us resolve that we will not leave our children a world where the oceans rise and famine spreads and terrible storms devastate our lands. Let us resolve that all nations – including my own – will act with the same seriousness of purpose as has your nation, and reduce the carbon we send into our atmosphere. This is the moment to give our children back their future. This is the moment to stand as one.

Will we acknowledge that there is no more powerful example than the one each of our nations projects to the world? Will we reject torture and stand for the rule of law? Will we welcome immigrants from different lands, and shun discrimination against those who don’t look like us or worship like we do, and keep the promise of equality and opportunity for all of our people?
People of Berlin – people of the world – this is our moment. This is our time.



I know my country has not perfected itself. At times, we’ve struggled to keep the promise of liberty and equality for all of our people. We’ve made our share of mistakes, and there are times when our actions around the world have not lived up to our best intentions.
But I also know how much I love America. I know that for more than two centuries, we have strived – at great cost and great sacrifice – to form a more perfect union; to seek, with other nations, a more hopeful world. Our allegiance has never been to any particular tribe or kingdom – indeed, every language is spoken in our country; every culture has left its imprint on ours; every point of view is expressed in our public squares. What has always united us – what has always driven our people; what drew my father to America’s shores – is a set of ideals that speak to aspirations shared by all people: that we can live free from fear and free from want; that we can speak our minds and assemble with whomever we choose and worship as we please.


The crowds were crazy. It is reported that there were 200,000 people. I noticed many Americans and people from other countries besides Germany. Common things we overheard were people discussing whether they had understood the speech or not. I have the feeling that a lot of people who were there did not speak English.

One complaint I have was that there were not enough metal detectors. I had to wait for an hour pressed up against other people like cattle in a herd to get through one. I also wish they would have had big screens behind him as well. I was too far away to see him, but too close to him to see the giant screens that lined the path from the Brandenberg Gate.

This man is just a politician. But he is a politician that gives people real hope. He is a politician that can inspire partnerships between nations and real change.

He is just a politician. It is up to us, as "citizens of the world" to make these changes. It is our obligation to demand these changes from our governments.

As globalization continues to make the world smaller, it is our duty to put aside our differences and work together to ensure there is a better future for the generations to come.

Obama in Berlin

This has nothing to do with atheism, but I am going to see Obama in Berlin tonight, so ...yeah.

Obama is being criticized for providing flyers and posters about his speech in Berlin in German language.

I suspect that if he had printed them in English, he would be criticized for assuming that all Germans should understand English. Obsidian Wings states "every German under the age of 40 speaks English – most of them fluently".

I disagree with this. By no means does a majority of Germany speak English. Yes, the younger Germans have learned it in school. But I learned Spanish in school, and I can hardly say a thing in Spanish. Unless they use their English further or are very motivated, they do not retain much.

Perhaps in Berlin the percentage of Germans who speak English is higher than in the rest of Germany. But I would still argue that it is not the majority.

Obama is also being criticized for speaking in Germany.

"The sea of Germans drummed up by the Obama campaign will be used as props to tell us Americans how to vote, and the campaign isn't trying to pretend otherwise. That's breathtakingly arrogant, and par for the course for Barack Obama."

What is breathtakingly arrogant is this mindset that alot of Americans have that the rest of the world doesn't matter, and our relationships with other countries are not important. Foreign relations are vital, and Barack Obama understands that. Our relationship with European countries, Germany being the most populated of those, is very important.

Perhaps the author of that blog would rather a candidate who does not cooperate with the rest of the world. He probably enjoyed the last eight years.

Can Sex Wait?

A Time article discusses the recent trend of purity events across the U.S.

For the most part these are ceremonies where daughters promise to remain pure until they are married and fathers promise to help them protect their purity.

[They]came up with a ceremony; they wrote a vow for fathers to recite, a promise "before God to cover my daughter as her authority and protection in the areas of purity," to practice fidelity, shun pornography and walk with honor through a "culture of chaos" and by so doing guide their daughters as well.

Personally I find this a little creepy and strange. I would never feel comfortable promising my purity to my father, let alone discussing it with him. We just don't have that kind of relationship.

A section where a girl talked about a bracelet with a locket that her parents gave her, and only her father has the key. When she is married he will give the key to her husband. I know this is all symbolic, but I couldn't help think of some women in the world who have no rights and are basically chattle. They are their father's property until they are married and then ownership is passed to the husband.

And do these girls really need all of these extravagant parties and symbolism to remain abstinent?

I know first hand how ineffective these kind of abstinence programs are. When I was in the 6th grade a woman came into our classroom and told us about the "Sex Can Wait" program. She had us all take a survey talking about how far we had gone, and then she asked us all to sign a contract promising to remain abstinent until marriage.

How effective was this? Despite the fact that most of my high school class is now already married with kids, I'm fairly certain that all of them did not wait for sex.

I know the contract had little effect on me. I viewed sex as something important and special, so I treated it as such. I waited until I was a legal adult (18). But I can honestly say that I am so grateful I did not wait until marriage.

Why? Because if I had I probably would have married the sleeze I was dating back then sooner, because how long can you date someone before temptations arrise? And now I would be stuck married to an illiterate redneck who doesn't know how email works and who takes better care of his truck than me.

If you want to wait until marriage, that's up to you. But I think the most important thing parents can do is to teach their daughters to respect themselves. And please, teach them to be safe and give them the tools to do so. If temptation arises, and you have made sex completely forbidden, your child is more likely to engage in unsafe sex than someone who has been educated about it and can discuss it openly with their parents.

One of the biggest mistakes I think my parents made was to make discussion of sex kind of off-limits and embarassing. It was very unhealthy and led me to think that everything sex-related was dirty and wrong. I hope that when I have kids they can talk openly to me without fear of being judged.

Normal Thinking

In Germany you are required to register in each town you live in.

One of the things they ask you is your religion.

They asked my boyfriend, and he told them he was atheist.

The woman wrote "VD", and he asked, "What does that stand for?"

She replied "verschieden denkend", which means different thinking.

"No," he said, "normal denkend" (normal thinking).

I'm Coming Out

Does anyone else have that Diana Ross song stuck in their heads now? Good, me too.

I was recently watching a talk Richard Dawkins did for Ted called Militant Atheism, where he basically says that more atheists need to come out and be "militant" and stop being so "damned respectful". (I'm sorry, I can't get it to embed.)

It basically inspired me to stop being such a sissy about admiting my atheism.

It's real easy for me to sit here in Germany where atheism is widely accepted with my atheist boyfriend and talk about my atheism.

But when it comes to my family back home, I was terribly afraid of them finding out. Well, mainly of my grandparents finding out.

I had reached the conclusion that to tell my grandmother I was an atheist would be cruel and unnecessary. It would only serve to hurt her feelings. And it's not even that I have to feign belief around her, I don't. We don't even discuss it.

So this fear of my grandmother somehow finding out I was an atheist led me to hide my religious status on facebook and to start this anonymous blog.

It is unbelievable to me, but so far the topic of my religious beliefs has not come up at all with my family. I think that my parents have their suspicions, but tend to think that ignorance is bliss. So I have decided that if my parents do ask me, I will tell them the truth. I can't, however, promise the same for my grandparents. But I will just keep hoping that they never ask.

So, it sounds like an insignificantly tiny step, but I described my religious affiliation as "atheist" on my facebook profile yesterday. Go me!

AZ Churchgoer Rate is Far Behind Nation's

I lived in Arizona for 10 years and call it my home.

I often thought of Arizona as being very conservative. So I imagined that a lot of its population was religious.

But it turns out that Arizona's churchgoer rate is far behind the nation's.

Thirty-nine percent of Arizonans say they seldom or never go to worship service, which is much higher than the national average of 27 percent. And a Pew survey released on Feb. 25 said 22 percent of Arizonans claim no religious affiliation at all, also higher than the national norm.

The Arizona Daily Star article says that this difference could be attributable to the fact that many Arizonans have come to Arizona from a different state. They are "transients" and don't have a history of going to a church because their grandfathers or great grandfathers did.

The Atheist Blogger was recently asking which area in the U.S. had the most atheists or non-believers. While university towns and places such as San Francisco and Seattle are options, he might also want to consider Arizona. It's a beautiful state with many different climates and landscapes and a great place to live.

Some Explaining to Do

I didn't post a single blog entry for several months and then today I posted way too many. As the Atheist Blogger said, I have some explaining to do. He is probably the only reader I have, so I don't think anyone else noticed my absence :)

Basically, I run kind of hot and cold on things. I get really excited about an idea and rush into it, but then I don't really have much stamina. This blog was something I really wanted to do, and goodness knows I've had plenty of spare time in which to do it, but I quickly became frustrated.

I immersed myself in atheist blogs, religious news, etc. and at first it was exciting, but then it quickly became downright frustrating. Frustrating thinking about all of these people in the world who never question their beliefs and who are intolerant of others, including members of my family. I felt pretty helpless, like nothing I could say or do would make a difference.

I began to feel like I didn't have any valuable commentary, either. Which may explain why I will mostly be posting news articles and videos with minimal commentary for a while, unless the mood strikes me differently.

I also spent more time on my personal blog. I am not "out" to my family and to many of my acquaintances, so I feel more comfortable keeping this part of my life away from my private blog. This conflict of interests also made me frustrated at times, as I couldn't express myself fully on this blog or my other one for fear of people knowing I was an atheist.

Anyways, atleast today, I feel that I want to try to post more here. Hopefully it will last, since I really am looking for more things to keep my time occupied. And I hope someone enjoys reading it, or atleast doesn't totally hate it.

Facade

I feel a lot of pressure to act a certain way as an atheist. Since Christians are constantly insinuating that the only reason we don't have faith is because we are depressed, rebellious, or angry, I feel this huge obligation to prove them wrong, and act as if life since awareness has been a breeze.

In all honesty, life has been harder.

When I was a Christian I had these illusions that I could pray to somebody and it would make everything better. I knew that if this world sucked, I was promised a better one. I actually didn't give death much thought, perhaps because I was so young.

Now that I know that life is all we have, it makes me incredibly worried that I am wasting it worrying! Here I am, telling a Christian that life is more sacred to an atheist because it is our only shot, and yet I am wasting it sitting and typing on a computer, getting into arguments with complete strangers. And yet, when I try to imagine what I should be doing in order to get the most out of my life, I can't really come up with any answers.

I have been very active lately in learning about the debate between religion and atheism, and I have been absorbing information and news. All this does is make me incredibly depressed because I know that the majority of the world clings to delusion, and that the day I die, it will be much the same.

So what can we do to make a difference? To make the most out of our one shot at life? The Friendly Atheist has suggested that we should donate to important causes, such as science education. I think this is an excellent idea. But how much difference is my tiny contribution going to make?

I think the best some of us can do in this life is to try to enjoy it. I want to smile more often, laugh at stupid jokes, love somebody and be loved. Even if it wont change the world, maybe it will leave an impression on the people around me.

The Amiable Atheist

I would like to share a little bit about myself to begin this blog.

I was raised religious. My mother was Baptist, and my father was Seventh Day Adventist. When I was young, we moved a few times, so we were always sampling different churches in the area to find the right fit. I went to Calvary Chapel, Episcopalian, Evangelical Free, Lutheran, Methodist, Presbyterian, Latter Day Saint, and Catholic church services. When we finally settled down, we decided on a small Baptist Church in our rural town.

As a young girl, I was very familiar with Bible stories, I prayed often, and went to church regularly. I accepted everything that my family and the church told me because I trusted that they knew best. I remember being so concerned with not sinning that I would pray for forgiveness if I let a mean word slip or if I was disobedient to my mother.

When I was 15 I went to a Baptist summer camp. It was a great experience. I was surrounded by other young people who loved the Lord, there was great music, and lots of fun. During an emotional sermon I stood up and "accepted Jesus into my heart". I cried, and everyone cheered for me. I felt completely filled up and good.

When I got home from the camp, those feelings soon faded as I realized I could not maintain that kind of elation in my daily life. I began to discuss baptism with my pastor, but everything seemed hollow and meaningless. When I was baptized at 16, I felt nothing and knew something was not right. I stopped taking communion and started doubting the things taught in my Sunday school class. I remember sneaking onto the computer one afternoon when nobody was home, and googling "atheism". To me it seemed like a dirty, evil word and I was frightened of being caught. But I just wanted to know, did they have any valid points? But my guilt over this urge was overwhelming and I didn't look any further.

At 18 I went away to college and during my freshman year I took a course on the religions of the world, anthropology, and geology. Learning about the many different religions in the world made me wonder, how could all of the others be wrong when they were all so convinced of their beliefs? In anthropology and geology class I discovered that the real world contradicted many of the stories in the Bible that I had been taught to interpet literally. The world was millions of years old, and humans had only been alive for a fraction of that time! At first, I began to accept the fact that perhaps the Bible was not to be taken literally, but that God was still important and my faith was not at odds with science.

But the more I learned about science and the world, the more I realized that my religion was just plain wrong; my Bible was filled with cruel and ignorant stories and it could not explain how the world began, and my fellow believers were sometimes intolerant and hypocritical in the name of God.

This is when I realized that I was an atheist. Since that point, I have never regretted this discovery. The only time I have felt a loss, is when I instinctually begin to pray at moments when things aren't going my way. I have to stop and laugh when I realize I am talking to myself.

Lately I have been eagerly reading and learning about atheism. The topic is very interesting to me, because practically every part of our lives is influenced by peoples' religious beliefs, and it is worrisome to me that this influence is often times harmful.

I have started this blog because I wanted a place to compile my thoughts and interesting things that I find on the topic of religion and atheism. Of course, I invite you to express your opinions, but I hope you will also try to remain an Amiable [Insert your belief here] when you leave your comments.